Why I do..

I am having one of those days, or nights, again. I can't accept the fact that I miss Paul despite of all the hurtful things that he did to me. I really miss him a lot. I want to call. I wan to send a text message. I want to hear him explain why he did that to me. I really do not know what I've done or did not do to deserve this kind of treatment. I thought I was a fairly nice person... I was doing alright until today. I broke-down just moments ago. I cried silently and wiped my tears as quickly as they came out. I am so sorry. I feel so pathetic now. Why... you're not worth it anyway. This kills me. ... and because it does. I die each and every single day just thinking about this whole dilemma.

I am so hurt. Paul, why? Tell me why... at least that you owe me.

-Andrea-

Sushi for LOVE!

Hello, hello! October is going by really fast. We are entering the second week, and so far every thing is well. I passed my calculus exam with an A+. Good for me! All my other classes are going great, too. I am enjoying this busy mode and now that I have a second job, every thing will be even more busier. Today was a happy day even though it was raining hard in Chicago. I had sushi and bubble tea with my friends. It was so fun! I really like being around the same people everyday. We are gonna make this lunch congregation a regular Friday thing. I like this idea so much! I am excited! =)

I really cannot think of what to say right now. But I do have a lot to say. I will update later.

-Andrea-

Hello October!

Midterm exams are almost over with only two of them left: chemistry and humanities. I am not so worried about those two because I believe that I will do well. There is no reason for me to fail them because I have prepared for more than a week and ever since school started. Calculus exam was not so bad at all. I thought I would see some weird problems with trigonometric functions and pi's. Haha! There was not a single one of them in the exam. I even memorized the unit circle which could come in handy during the latter part of this course, and so it was not a waste. I am happy that I am starting to like calculus like how much I like chemistry. Surprisingly, I also like my other classes. The only one that bores me out of my wits is my humanities class. My professor is nice but then what will I learn from him just being nice? He talks the whole time about things that enters my right ear and leaves from the left. Anyway, I think I can get by with it. What's fun is that I got a second job to add to my juggling act. I am working everyday now with school and gym, too. I want to be busy and never idle like this because with rest and idle moments, there comes boredom. In addition, with boredom comes deep thinking of the past. I do not want to think of the past so much. I want my heart back. I want it whole. I am strong and I am getting there soon. Recovery was faster than I predicted. I am enjoying my life so much right now, but I am also being very cautious. I stick with the people with the same interest as me. As I have mentioned, or not, Burnham Hall (the Honors College building) is my second home. Right after I work out, I go there and chill by reading and doing homework. I hang out with my friends over there. During my breaks I stay there as well. It is very homy to me. I like it and the people that stay there. It is really fun! After school, I go straight to work. By the way, the second job is retail too. I work at Bath and Body Works now. Oh it smells so good at that place. I am so happy to be offered a position there. It is a complete change from smelling the aroma of coffee. The scent at the Bath and Body Works store relaxes me so much. It soothes my tired senses from overworking myself at the gym and school. So many things to do now.

I cannot wait for the holidays and go back to Canada for Boxing Day and New Year. I would love to see my family and friends again.

Work at 3pm till 8pm. Then readings must be continued. =)

-Andrea-