Why I do..

I am having one of those days, or nights, again. I can't accept the fact that I miss Paul despite of all the hurtful things that he did to me. I really miss him a lot. I want to call. I wan to send a text message. I want to hear him explain why he did that to me. I really do not know what I've done or did not do to deserve this kind of treatment. I thought I was a fairly nice person... I was doing alright until today. I broke-down just moments ago. I cried silently and wiped my tears as quickly as they came out. I am so sorry. I feel so pathetic now. Why... you're not worth it anyway. This kills me. ... and because it does. I die each and every single day just thinking about this whole dilemma.

I am so hurt. Paul, why? Tell me why... at least that you owe me.

-Andrea-