Right now Im just gonna write how disappointed I am at myself. I am slacking off big time! I shouldn't even be here. I am not satisfied with my grades and how I perform as an individual. I am so not contented whatsoever. Nothing and nobody can make me happy at this moment. I should get off  the unecessary stuff here in the internet. ( note: second attempt) 

k bye for now. homework should be first. A's will be back!

-goodbye-

Self-pity has always been a girl’s problem,

Never really contented on what she has.

Is it because she is not as skinny?

Is it because she is not as pretty?

 

 

Jealousy has always been a girl’s concern,

Never really stopped assuming.

Is it because she is not good enough?

Is it because she is not who you really want?

 

 

Denial has always been a girl’s downfall,

Never really saw it as a consequence.

Is it because she is not as wise?

Is it because she is not as clever?

 

 

Love has always been a girl’s losing game,

Never really seem as fair.

Is it because she is not less forgiving?

Is it because she is not at all complaining?

 

 

Even the wise men are not aware,

I just need you to listen and be there.

Don’t leave for the pretty ones you see,

Because I need you here to stay with me. 

So who can answer me why I am always self pitying? Is it not stupid to do so? I hate myself sometimes cause I am not as skinny, I don't have the perfect skin, I am not that pretty or not really pretty. I hate how I criticize myself like this. Whenever I see those girls with nice face like everything is perfect... no matter what I tell myself I still cant stop thinking they are way better. 

ugh! 

dammit

I should have never lied to myself.

I started yoga today.. and most probably the only hour of my day that was spent wisely. Im so bored. I dont like being idle. I cleaned, cooked, read, watched tv, IM, .. im still bored. If only I have something like a DDR or Karaoke.

Someone entertain me!
-Andrea-

Been long since I posted something here! =O .. I usually update every two day but since the day after new years while I was in Brampton with my Bessy Mei Mei, I completely forgot about this.Its not exactly big of a deal cause nobody ever reads this. lol. Then what's the point in writing? whatever.. ok anyways I should really write an update.

My winter holiday was extremely fun! Even if we didnt really go to some tourist spots since it was my first time in Canada, I was very happy. I got to be with my long time no see Bessy. I was able to bond with Ate Ira and Ced. Moreover, I'm so happy I had a chance to meet two new wonderful people, Paul and Tyler. They are awesome! They brought me to this sushi place, 168, and right after I think I craved for sushi everyday! ahhahaha! Tyler drives us around and it was fun. Paul was a bit too shy and doesnt talk as much but I appreciate it when he does. =] Ate is really good in baking. I have not baked anything in 3 years since I came here to Chicago. I baked a cake for Paul, and thank goodness it tasted good.. according to him it tasted good. It made me feel good knowing I did something that satisfied another and to even know that it was the first time someone actually baked something for him. Cedric was really fun to be with! My inner child comes out whenever I play DDR or eat cereals with Ced. I was touched when he said that it will be not as fun when I leave. I wasnt at all happy when I left either. Brampton felt like home to me because my bestfriend is there. I was at rest and I found the place very peaceful. Chicago is more like a very busy place to me where I cant ever stop and think for a while. Even when I could, I dont thing it is ever or it will ever be enough. Summer is approaching fast and I know I will be coming back to Brampton, but first prom and graduation!

Prom and graduation is in 4 months! I just cant wait! I want to start the so called University/College life my friends talk about. I know it will be a big change but I am ready for it! So ready for it! As of now I have only gotten one acceptance letter. Im not worried since its still early. Senior High is passing by very fast. Next week is the end of the first semester. Second semester will be another chance for me to improve. Eliminate the bad grades, less work hours, less money spent, and more time saved. I am excited for everything! I actually cannot contain myself whenever I talk about this. For prom... I am excited cause Paul will be coming here in Chicago! I have so many places to show him and I'll make sure that his stay over here will be worthwhile! ; ) Right after graduation I will be flying back to Canada with Paul. Its time to see my dearest Bessy Mei Mei again. And what Im mostly looking forward to is the much anticipated SOCCER GAME vs. THE GUYS.. whahah! I could use some of my murdering fouls.. lol.. kidding! Also the turbo jam, DDR, rock band, and baking sessions with my Bessy and Ate. Cereal talks with Ced is exciting too!.. aaah.. I just cant wait until all of this months are over.. I want it to be May now... then June.. and July I turn a year older.. oh my... im 19!!


As of now things are going well. Hopefully they last long...


** 95% ..... **

See you soon
-Andrea-

Happy New Year! Its 2009 and everything should start in a good way.

My 2008 was overall, I guess, is ok. It was not very fun, but it also wasnt sad. It was a year full of ups and downs. The last days of the year was well spent. I spent my days with the closest friend... My bestfriend that lives here in Brampton. I love Brampton because it is really peaceful here. The fact that Paul lives here plays a part. I dont really know how I feel at the moment but I know I do like him an awful lot. In 4 days I will be going back to Chicago. Im gonna be back to my normal life. Not so fun, less adventure, no bessy, no panda, no ate, and no C-Bit.. very sad but then at least I know I can always come here as long as time, money, and PARENTS permits. =P.....

Expectations for this year..
I expect things to be better. I want to stay in touch with Paul because I always feel so good and relaxed when Im with him. I dont feel that thump in my chest which is good because it means I am not nervous around him anymore( only when theres a lot of people with us) I am planning to come back here in Brampton for the summer. I would love to see my awesome bessy, ate, C Bit, Paul and Tyler. =] Sushi day was fun. <3

Resolutions.
I have to do Turbo jam from now on.
I have drink lots of water.
I have to eat less sweets. =[
I have to behave.
I have to be less stressed,( learn to eliminate the bad stuff)
I have to stop thinking too much.



The rest...
I guess I just have to wait and see what to improve..Before I notice it the New Year 2010 is gonna be right around the corner. It will be another year of ups and downs but I will learn from it.

Thanks 2008

Adieu
-Andrea-